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Figure 2: Everyday EI skills
THE ‘IT’ FACTOR
you mad, how being mad is manipulating your
actions and judgement, and how to subdue
your anger so that it doesn’t affect the way you
interact with others.
Self-management is the second of the personal management principles. However, with
self-management, we move from making observations about our emotions to acting within the
constraints of those observations.
During times of distress, strong EI allows
a person to keep their own emotions in constant check and prevent their emotions from
overwhelming a situation.
Because of this inner balancing act, leaders with strong EI are quite resilient. Self-management enables them to stay calm, collected and focused when placed under extreme
pressure and crisis. Additionally, once a person does become upset, they can quickly move
on and overcome this emotional state. Finally,
self-management enables leaders with EI to
motivate themselves in the face of adversity.
Despite setbacks, leaders can persevere without
needing the encouragement of others.
While self-management and awareness focus
on one’s own observations and actions about
themselves, we also need to examine how leaders observe and respond to those around them.
Dual empathy is the observational component of how a leader with strong EI works with
others. There are two basic parts to empathy:
Emotional empathy and cognitive empathy.
Emotional empathy is the ability to read and
understand another person’s emotions quickly
and accurately. Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand why people feel the way they
do about a subject. Dual empathy not only
enables a leader to understand a person’s feelings, but allows them to appreciate the perspectives behind those feelings.
Relationship management is the final and
culminating principle of EI. When a leader
can effectively manage their relationships, they
communicate in a way that compels and motivates people toward a goal. This communication not only serves the goals of the leader, it
also empowers others to take ownership of the
tasks at hand. EI allows leaders to manage an
organization in a way that the staff feels like
they’re part of the team. This is most often evidenced by a staff that can laugh together—and
perhaps most importantly—can laugh with and
in the presence of the leader.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT